You know when you lay back stare at the ceiling, remember the old days. When you're glad that you're holding on to those memories, but at the same time they're all gone and you're not even close to getting them back. And you actually can't tell whether you were happier then or now.
For me, all I know is that I don't remember how did all this happen, we're as far as we can be from each other. That must be very odd for someone I used to call my best friend, my all. I can't seem to understand myself anymore, my feelings have gone mad, I don't know if I miss you or do I just miss the feelings I had with you? Do I want to get you back or am I better off without you? Every word, every laugh, every song, and that one touch, all seems like it happened yesterday.
Ahh good memories.
Sometimes I feel like I don't care, I'm not acting like I care and you just do whatever you want with your life. Other times I ask myself why am I not sharing all this with you? Every new step I take, you should be there to support me. We should be experiencing all of this together. We should turn into grown ups together. Oh wait, there's no we, not anymore.
But I still need your advice.
Somehow I don't seem to understand that you're gone, or actually how I left. I don't think we would have been happy if we stayed together, many things were broken, and I don't know if it'll ever be fixed. But anyway, I'm sure you've moved on, nothing of what I've just wrote matters.
But I am glad that I loved you though, that you were a part of my life for years, if not all of it, that you were the reason for my laughter so many times, and even the bad times, the arguments and the worst fights, to me they're good memories too. I don't know if I'll ever be over you, or if someone else will ever replace you, and make me happy as much as you did, even when you weren't there. I still believe in everything we believed in, in every dream we had, maybe they won't come true now, but it was already enough for me to dream with you.
I don't see the point of writing this, and I don't know if I want you to read it or not, useless, as it'll only make things more awkward between us.
So, I guess I'll be deleting this, soon.
For me, all I know is that I don't remember how did all this happen, we're as far as we can be from each other. That must be very odd for someone I used to call my best friend, my all. I can't seem to understand myself anymore, my feelings have gone mad, I don't know if I miss you or do I just miss the feelings I had with you? Do I want to get you back or am I better off without you? Every word, every laugh, every song, and that one touch, all seems like it happened yesterday.
Ahh good memories.
Sometimes I feel like I don't care, I'm not acting like I care and you just do whatever you want with your life. Other times I ask myself why am I not sharing all this with you? Every new step I take, you should be there to support me. We should be experiencing all of this together. We should turn into grown ups together. Oh wait, there's no we, not anymore.
But I still need your advice.
Somehow I don't seem to understand that you're gone, or actually how I left. I don't think we would have been happy if we stayed together, many things were broken, and I don't know if it'll ever be fixed. But anyway, I'm sure you've moved on, nothing of what I've just wrote matters.
But I am glad that I loved you though, that you were a part of my life for years, if not all of it, that you were the reason for my laughter so many times, and even the bad times, the arguments and the worst fights, to me they're good memories too. I don't know if I'll ever be over you, or if someone else will ever replace you, and make me happy as much as you did, even when you weren't there. I still believe in everything we believed in, in every dream we had, maybe they won't come true now, but it was already enough for me to dream with you.
I don't see the point of writing this, and I don't know if I want you to read it or not, useless, as it'll only make things more awkward between us.
So, I guess I'll be deleting this, soon.
06/02/2013
9.00 am
9.00 am
